Sunday, March 20, 2011

Contemplating the Purpose

I’m not quite sure why this is but lately I have been allowing my life to continue on without me. Perhaps this is the same old, but at some point in my life everyday was exciting and new and filled with great surprises . I used to be told that my life was like a movie-- I guess that means drama and excitement and lots of random spontaneous moments. But lately, say the past 3 or so years it’s been pretty drab in the land of Anita. Nothing seems to happen, nothing seems to move and everything seems to just be, same old and boring.

I feel like I’m heading in this vast land of un-original and dull. What has come of me???

I’m getting so restless and the feeling I have when I wake up in the morning is not one of utter gratefulness but rather a feeling of… “here we go again”.

Clearly this is a problem… for me and my sanity. I’m looking outside the window of my bed room right now, seriously wondering what can I do to overcome this slump? I means gees! Am I depressed??

It’s actually raining outside, pretty hard at that. Not exactly the ideal ambiance for contemplating a change for the better, but I suppose it’s all in how you look at it, right?

I mean the rain doesn’t always have to be dark and dreary it could mean new beginnings… imagine how many seeds are becoming implanted and how bright and green the grass will be the next morning. And think of all the beautiful new flower buds that may begin to bloom.

So what is my vow???

Hmm... well I guess I shall start small. I want things to be different in my life! I need more stories to tell, new experiences and special moments. I need to feel like I’m living for more than just the rush of time that passes me by each day before I go to bed! So my next post shall be my purpose…my goals… some kind of step forward.

Ok?

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